U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
