anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize