4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
