Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Couch. On fire.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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