i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
