i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
