Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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