I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
