I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
