My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
