It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
