Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
