he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
