WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
