Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
