You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
