We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
