it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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