We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
