I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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