This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
why is half of my head shaved?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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