im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
