Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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