haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize