whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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