So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
a search helicopter?!
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
