is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
