There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize