maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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