I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
