so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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