My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
