I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The adults are the big ones right?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
