Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
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