Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
