woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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