my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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