you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
