Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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