i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize