I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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