he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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