Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
