Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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