dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Panties = found
Randomize
