Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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