Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
