I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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