Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
