Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
