Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
NoShamevember. You game?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
