used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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