I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
