found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
