It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
