I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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