You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize