She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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