I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize