are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
