those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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