so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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