Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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