so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
