my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
