Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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